Funny Quotes

Fran Lebowitz #Diet #Food #Funny

Photo of Fran Lebowitz Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Leslie Nielsen #Family #Funny

Photo of Leslie Nielsen I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!
Beth Ditto #Amazing #Funny

Photo of Beth Ditto My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character - I am that character... It's a complicated bag of tools I acquired, and I've put them all to work onstage.
Joaquin Phoenix #Experience #Funny #Humor

Photo of Joaquin Phoenix I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.
Lisa Edelstein #Famous #Funny

Photo of Lisa Edelstein I think it's really important for celebrities to use their power of money and fame to get their voices out there. It's funny to me that we're expected to keep quiet just because of who we are. Why do I lose my right to speak my mind because I'm famous?
Lauren Graham #Beauty #Funny

Photo of Lauren Graham I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.
Buddy Hackett #Family #Funny

Photo of Buddy Hackett As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Steve Martin #Best #Funny

Photo of Steve Martin I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
J. K. Rowling #Best #Funny

Photo of J. K. Rowling The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
Danny DeVito #Alone #Funny

Photo of Danny DeVito I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.
Cathy Guisewite #Food #Funny #Love

Photo of Cathy Guisewite Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
Anthony Anderson #Family #Funny

Photo of Anthony Anderson I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.
Mike Myers #Dad #Funny

Photo of Mike Myers My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.
George Burns #Age #Funny

Photo of George Burns If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
Tom Hiddleston #Best #Funny

Photo of Tom Hiddleston If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
Mindy Kaling #Age #Funny

The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.
Don Rickles #Attitude #Funny

Photo of Don Rickles You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
Garrett Hedlund #Death #Funny

Photo of Garrett Hedlund It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.'
Wesley Snipes #Dad #Funny

Photo of Wesley Snipes I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!
Robert Downey, Jr. #Cool #Funny

I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and funny. It's a really specific thing. We stuck to it, it turned out good and a lot of people liked it.
William Feather #Finance #Funny

One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.
Albert Einstein #Change #Funny

Photo of Albert Einstein If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Ben Stein #Experience #Funny #Good #Parenting

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
Elizabeth Gilbert #Dad #Funny #Mom

Photo of Elizabeth Gilbert I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm funny I'll go on trips with them - I'll do all sorts of stuff.' But the momming? I'm not made for that. I have a really good mom I know what she put into it.
Laurence J. Peter #Art #Funny

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.