W. C. Fields

William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children. His career in show business began in vaudeville, where he attained international success as a silent juggler. He gradually incorporated comedy into his act, and was a featured comedian in the Ziegfeld Follies for several years. He became a star in the Broadway musical comedy Poppy (1923), in which he played a colorful small-time con man. His subsequent stage and film roles were often similar scoundrels, or else henpecked everyman characters. Among his recognizable trademarks were his raspy drawl and grandiloquent vocabulary. The characterization he portrayed in films and on radio was... More

Wikipedia

W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields #Best

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W. C. Fields #Best

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields #Death #Hope

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields #Death

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields #Equality

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
W. C. Fields #Experience #Life

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
W. C. Fields #Family #Men #Women

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields #Food #Funny

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields #Food #Travel

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields #Funny

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields #Funny

I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields #Time

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields #Humor #Smile

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields #Life

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields #Money

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields #Money

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields #Politics

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
W. C. Fields #Success

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields #Trust

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields #Women

No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields #Women

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields #Food

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields #Great

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields #Home #New Years

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.