Groucho Marx

Photo of Groucho Marx
Julius Henry Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977), known professionally as Groucho Marx, was an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. His rapid-fire, often impromptu delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers and imitators. He made 13 feature films with his siblings the Marx Brothers, of whom he was the third-born. He also had a successful solo career, most notably as the host of the radio and television game show You Bet Your Life. His distinctive appearance, carried over from his days in vaudeville, included quirks such as an exaggerated stooped posture, glasses, cigar, and a thick greasepaint mustache and eyebrows. These exaggerated features resulted in the creation of one of the world's most ubiquitous and recognizable novelty disguises, known a... More

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Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx #Art #Politics

Photo of Groucho Marx Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx #Age

Photo of Groucho Marx I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx #Beauty

Photo of Groucho Marx She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx #Best

Photo of Groucho Marx Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx #Funny

Photo of Groucho Marx I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx #Funny #Women

Photo of Groucho Marx Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx #Funny

Photo of Groucho Marx All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx #Good

Photo of Groucho Marx I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx #Humor

Photo of Groucho Marx Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx #Intelligence

Photo of Groucho Marx Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx #Life #Women

Photo of Groucho Marx Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx #Life

Photo of Groucho Marx The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx #Marriage

Photo of Groucho Marx Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx #Medical

Photo of Groucho Marx I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Groucho Marx #Morning

Photo of Groucho Marx One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx #Art

Photo of Groucho Marx Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx #Good

Photo of Groucho Marx I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Groucho Marx #Medical

Photo of Groucho Marx A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx #Humor

Photo of Groucho Marx Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx #Marriage #Politics

Photo of Groucho Marx Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx #Music

Photo of Groucho Marx Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx #Relationship

Photo of Groucho Marx It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx #Time

Photo of Groucho Marx I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx #Time

Photo of Groucho Marx I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx #Time

Photo of Groucho Marx Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.